Slane

what better way to get the ball rolling around here than with a good old-fashioned rant?

Oasis were recently unveiled as the headliners for Slane 2009. Yes, that's the same Oasis who haven't released a great album since 1995's (What's the Story) Morning Glory? (9/10) and whose main contribution to the music scene nowadays is their ever-hilarious interviews (more on that below).

Now don't get me wrong: Oasis, being the first band i ever fell for when I heard the glorious Crazy Horse-inspired 'Some Might Say' on my sister's radio one evening, will always have a special place in my heart. But, apart from a few inspired moments such as 'Who Feels Love?' or 'Stop Crying Your Heart Out', the music they've been releasing since the epic drug folly of Be Here Now (5) has been a mixture of the average and the downright awful (anybody remember 'I Can See a Liar'?). Don't believe me? Ask Noel Gallagher: of the 18 tracks he chose for inclusion on the best-of collection Stop The Clocks, a mere four were taken from the post-Morning Glory albums.

So what?, i hear you ask, it'll still sell out and plenty of people will enjoy it. Yet the announcement of Oasis as headliner is further evidence of the sad, sad decline of Slane, which used to represent so much more to Irish music fans. A quick glance at past line-ups illustrates the point: in 1993, a resurgent Neil Young shared the bill with Van Morrison and grunge heavyweights Pearl Jam; in 1995, Oasis themselves, on the back of the classic debut Definitely Maybe (9.5), played support to R.E.M., who were then still arguably at their commercial peak and touring for the first time in six years; while people still talk in awed tones about the legendary set Bruce Springsteen played in 1985. However, Slane never seemed to recover from the cancellation of Eminem's planned appearance in 2005: the only concert held since has been the travelling circus known as the Rolling Stones, while three-day festivals like the Electric Picnic or Oxegen are now held in much greater esteem and have been for some time.

Of course, you could argue that there's a shortage of bands with the ability to sell out the 80,000-capacity venue, but that's where multiple acts come in, and let's face it, between Oxegen, the Picnic and the fact that bands like the Killers often opt for their own arena shows, there's not much room for manoeuvre there either.
Anyway, back to the issue of Oasis interviews, here's a few gems:

"Americans want grungy people, stabbing themselves in the head on stage. They get a bright bunch like us, with deodorant on, they don't get it." -Liam

Liam on aliens: "I'm not frightened by them. I'm as smart as them. Probably thick as fuck, aren't they? Big goggly-eyed big heads, man, they haven't got a fucking clue. I'd do their fucking heads in, them aliens, man. They'd be like, 'Farking hell, farking hell! Lets get back to Planet Knob!"

"'Talk Tonight', the one he wrote while he was in San Fransisco with some fucking bird, that's shit and I fucking hate it. That's not going on no fucking record of ours. Y'know he's gonna have to get it together for that album. Ballads - one on the B-side, maybe one or two on the album, but that's it. He better cut it out, I'm telling ya. All this feeling down in America, man, and shit like that." - Liam

Liam on Coldplay: "Dido's with willies"

Comic genius. And here's a reminder of those halcyon days when Oasis really were the greatest band in the world:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IqC9MDDwh6Q